Helping Relationships- part 1

In this next series of blog posts, I'll be writing about the first counseling class I took at Westminster. My wife and I took a class taught by Ed Welch called “Helping Relationships.” My wife Teresa is a counseling major, so it was a way for us to take a class together. The class was also a great way for me (an aspiring pastor and preacher) to get my feet wet by taking a course in Biblical counseling.

IS COUNSELING REALLY NEEDED?

All the professors at Westminster have to sign something which says that they agree with the Westminster Confession of Faith, a pretty comprehensive summary of the Christian faith. This means that all faculty agree on the nature of scripture as our highest and final authority (see post), and they also agree on how to interpret it (see post).

But, there are differences in how to apply scripture. The different departments at Westminster have different opinions on Biblical counseling. And they can be quite vocal about it. One professor told our class (which included both counseling and non-counseling students) to put down the counseling books and pick up a book on God. His point was that if we have a clear vision of our infinite, eternal, all-powerful, and all-knowing God, our problems would be seen as infinitely small and insignificant. He would argue for the centrality of Biblical preaching, which helps us comprehend and know God. That's one viewpoint. At the other end of the spectrum are those who argue for the centrality of 1-on-1 Biblical counseling. Preaching is important, but it tends to be too broad (like a shotgun), while 1-on-1 Biblical counseling can dig much deeper and be much more specific.

In both cases, there is an emphasis on changing us to be like Christ. The preaching guys focus on the word to change hearts. The counseling guys focus on personal relationships to change hearts.

Which one is right? In reality, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. I believe a healthy church needs both preaching and counseling. When Paul passes the baton to Timothy, he tells him to preach the word and be ready in season and out of season (2 Tim. 4:2). But, in the same verse, he also tells him to “reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” This could refer to 1-on-1 counseling. Elsewhere, Paul talks about teaching in public and from house to house on the necessity of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. (Acts 20:21). Teaching house-to-house may be a good example of something like 1-on-1 Biblical counseling.

So, we see that scripture gives us examples of both public and private ministry of the word in public preaching and in house-to-house ministry.

WHY IS BIBLICAL COUNSELING IMPORTANT?

Though there are probably dozens of reasons why Biblical counseling is important for churches, I will give two reasons here.

1. Advice spreads like multiplying rabbits.

This is a reason I picked up from Tim Lane, director of the counseling program at Westminster. In any given week, people have problems, such as sin, temptation, or suffering. People seek help from friends and other people they know. Here's the kicker- whatever help they receive, they will use it to help others. What kind of advice are they getting? Is it Biblical and Christ-centered? Or, does it follow the pattern of this world? It won't take long for advice (either good or bad) to spread and multiply throughout the church, much like multiplying rabbits. Good advice can reinforce a pastor's biblical preaching and strengthen faith in the life of the church. But bad advice can undermine preaching and even undo a pastor's work. How people relate to one another in times of trial and crisis can either lead to a healthy church or to a weaker church.

2. We are called to speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15).

All Christians are called by Christ to speak truth in love to one another. This is not a command given to pastors or teachers, but to everyone who is part of the body of Christ. All too often, our best attempts to help a struggling brother or sister sounds too much like the counselor in the Bob Newhart skit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE). His advice to his client is to “Stop it!” When his client looks astonished, he simply repeats by saying, "Stop it!" In other words, our advice can sound like telling someone to "just stop sinning!"

For example, if someone in your church is struggling with anger, looking up all the Bible verses on anger may not fix the problem. There's a good chance they've thought about it and have already looked up those verses. Anger may not be the main issue but simply the byproduct of some deeper issue. So, telling them to simply “stop it!” may not fix the problem. If we want to bring the truth of scripture and the hope of Christ into their lives, we will need a different method. If we want to grow in our love for one another, we should grow in our skill in speaking truth in love.

In future posts, I'll get into some of the nitty-gritty details on how the class taught us to do these two things- ensuring the multiplication of good advice and speaking the truth in love.