Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Our Engagement Story: The Short Version

I decided to propose to Teresa on a month-a-versary, 22 months after we had started dating. To keep it a secret, I told her that we had one more pre-engagement counesling session after Valentine's. She would come over to my home at 6:30 PM as we had a dinner reservation at 8 PM.

I decorated my place with 22 balloons (actually 24 because they sell them by the dozen). When she came in, I told her I had something special for her. We sat down, and I started to read from a photo journal celebrating every month God had given to us together. When turned to the end, I got down on one knee and looked Teresa right in the eye. I told her how special she was and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. "Teresa, will you marry me?"

She was so surprised that she didn't say anything. After hearing no response, I asked her again, and she said yes! Afterwards, we celebrated our engagement and Valetine's by going to an awesome sushi restaurant.

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Full Version

Alex's version:
I originally wanted to propose in January, but I was encouraged to do some pre-engagement couneseling when I attended a conference called Render 2008. During my 1-on-1 meeting with my mentor, he suggested this. Inwardly, I was wishing he hadn't said anything. I was already guilty of dragging things out, and I probably didn't need any excuse to drag my feet even more.

I decided to go ahead with it because I knew that I would need all the help I could get. I don't ever want to deceive myself in thinking I don't need to continue learning or growing. Teresa and I did our first pre-engagement session with Pastor Gaylord in mid-January.


In early February, I knew I would have to get going if I wanted to propose during our next month-a-versary, February 13. I ordered a ring on-line, but to my dismay, it would arrive on the 14th, a day later! I guess I could always propose on Valentine's, I thought.....

In the meantime, I started assembling a scrapbook of all of our month-a-versary's. For the last 22 months, I've tried to celebrate each month God has given to us. Sometimes it was just a card in the mail. Others were more involved, and one time we took a day trip to San Antonio to get away.

I had a ton of pictures from our past celebrations, but I noticed there were gaps. A lot of them. We didn't always take pictures, so I had to come up with creative ways to fill those in. I spent at least two evenings running around town taking pictures of restaurants we had visited. And behind Teresa's back, I dug up old cards and snapped pictures of them when she wasn't looking.

I started assembling the book the week before Valentine's. Some of the pictures didn't turn out well, so I had to do a re-shoot on a few. As I checked the status of the ring, it looked more and more likely that it would arrive on Valentine's. I was ok with that because it would give me an extra day to get everything ready =)

God used Valentine's week to give me many opportunities to trust Him. First off, I needed to work from home so I could accept the delivery of the ring, but two days before Valentine's, my internet went down. For the last two years, I didn't have any problems with my DSL, but it died right when I needed it! Second, I also worried that the ring wouldn't come on time. I got especially concerned when Blue Nile, the company I ordered the ring from, was notifying people of delays due to storms in the northeastern parts of the US. I asked many people to pray for the ring to arrive in time.

Before I went to work on February 13th, I called up my DSL provider and asked them what was wrong. We tried power-cycling the DSL modem several times, resetting it, and re-connecting the wires. But, nothing. We decided that the modem had died, and I would need a new one. This all happened on Wednesday, our official month-a-versary. I told Teresa that we would celebrate by at least having dinner together before going to small group. We would continue the celebration and do something more special on Valentine's. After dropping off Teresa to her small group, I went to Fry's to pick up a new DSL modem.

I went home that night after small group anxious to try it out. I needed it to work from home so I could sign for the ring. I plugged it in, but nothing happened. The lights seemed to indicate that it was working. I logged into the DSL modem, and the manual said I needed to configure some setting I would get from my service provider. I caved and called tech support (again). This time, the tech. wasn't so friendly. I asked him for the modem settings. His response was that I needed to purchase a modem from their DSL E-Store and that they didn't support 3rd party modems. What?! I told them I needed a modem right away for work. I asked him again for internet protocol, VC1, and other magical mojo that I had no clue on. This time I was able to pry them out of his hot little hands.

But, when I tried them, it still wouldn't work! The tech. told me the wrong settings- either on purpose or he didn't know. I'll give him the benefit of a doubt and assume he didn't know.

I was frustrated, but I determined not to let it get to me. I could always "borrow" internet from my neighbor. I knew one of my neighbors pretty well, so I thought I could ask if it was ok. Maybe not at that moment because it was midnight.

I stopped thinking about that and picked up work on the month-a-versary album. Around 2 AM, I decided to take a break and try messing around with the DSL modem again. I prayed, and I trusted that God would somehow provide what I needed. I went through all the options and happened across an "auto-detect line settings" option. I tried that, and it filled in all the mystical boxes. Then I clicked "connect", and then BOOM, it worked! Praise God for that!

The next day, I started working from home. The book was far from finished, so I would have to work on it. Throughout the morning, I tracked the ring's progress. There was no margin for error, which was hard for me to deal with. I like to plan things out and leave time for things that come up. At work, we're always told to make sure we have "buffer". There was zero buffer for the ring. If the ring didn't arrive today, I would have to propose without it, or push out the proposal. Neither option seemed acceptable to me, but it was out of my control.

Throughout the morning, I tracked the ring's journey. The day before, it was shipped from Seattle to Nashville. The night before, it was shipped from Nashville to Austin. And it was on it's way. The wind was blowing a lot that day, and each time the wind sounded like a truck driving by, I would get up and look out the window. No FedEx truck. The times I did get up, I saw a UPS truck and a DHL truck go by. I continued to wait. Later that morning, the iconic FedEx truck pulled up, and I knew it was for me. I waited right by the door, and when the doorbell rang, I calmly waited for a few seconds before thrusting the door open. I signed for the box, and gave the delivery guy a gospel tract.

To prevent people from thinking that there was something valuable inside, I noticed the box had a sticker that said "Perishable". Platinum, or white gold, is one of the least perishable things on the planet, but in an ironic sort of way the sticker is true. 1 Peter 1:7 says, "gold, which perishes even though refined by fire".

Anyways, I had the ring, and I had internet. Now I just needed to pop the question and wait for her response. Teresa showed up around 6:45 that night at my home, and I told her that we had a dinner reservation at 8 PM. In the meantime, I wanted us to celebrate the 22 months God has given to us. I told her I put togther a month-a-versary album. We flipped to the first one, which had a picture of the first card I gave her. She was surprised and wondered when I had taken that. Heh heh....We went through each month, and when we hit the last month-a-versary (number 21 in January), the phone rang.

Usually I would just ignore phone calls, but it was my land line, and I didn't have caller ID. Who could it be? Should I just let it ring and let the answering machine pick it up? What if it was someone who knew about the proposal and was asking how it went? I grabbed the phone. "Hello?" Oh, it was my mom. And yes, she was asking how it went. "Ummm, can I call you back later?" I tried not to say anything or hint at anything. I should have unplugged the phone.....

I got back on the couch next to Teresa and thought what I should say next. The last sentence for the month 21 entry said, "Don't turn the page yet...." On the next page, the ring was embedded on a page for month-a-versary 22. My heart started pounding. I think this is it, but I suddenly felt this weight- something was holding me back, and there was some hesitation.

Ignoring that, I got down on one knee and looked intently into her eyes. "Teresa, you are so special to me. I admire you, every part of you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't think of anybody else I want to be with" I turned the page, and then read what was written down, "Teresa, will you marry me?"

During this whole time, she had this bewildered, confused look on her. She didn't know what to think. I guess it was too much of a surprise....ha! She was silent for a few moments, and then I asked, "Well, do you want to give me an answer?"

I'll let her pick up the story.....

Teresa's version:
We supposedly had another session of pre-engagement counseling with Pastor Gaylord scheduled for the next Tuesday, so logically in my head that meant that we weren't going to get engaged on Valentine's day. I thought maybe he'd do it on a monthiversary, but we had gone to Rome's Pizza the day before for our 22nd monthiversary and nothing had happened, so I figured it wouldn't be until later. I didn't think Alex would propose until maybe June or July, so I was completely caught off guard when he did propose.

On Valentine's Day, Alex had called me earlier from his cell phone "at work," but it didn't occur to me that it was a little strange since he usually calls me from his work phone. Alex had asked me to come over to his house at 6:30pm, and I thought he was going to cook for me like he had last valentine's day. I got there and there were all these heart balloons everywhere-- 24 instead of 22 because they sell them in dozens. He had also lit these candles and put them everywhere.

I didn't see any evidence of food preparation, so I was a little surprised, and then Alex told me we had a dinner reservation a little later. He said that he had a little surprise for me in the meantime and led me to the living room where I saw a small red scrapbook sitting on the coffee table. "Oh great," I thought, "Everyone does scrapbooks, and it's usually when they propose. But I guess this will be a good Valentine's day gift anyway."

We sat down on his couch, next to the window, and he asked me if he could read the scrapbook to me. He'd taken our monthiversaries and made a scrapbook page for each of the 22 monthiversaries we'd had together. The first monthiversary we'd had, he had just sent me a card and on page 1 there was a picture of the card. The thing is, he'd never taken a picture of it, and so I was wondering how he'd aquired a picture since I never saw him take any pictures when he was over at my apartment. More monthiversary pages went by, and more pictures of more cards I hadn't seen him photograph... He also had bought scrapbook paper and color-coordinated each page to match the picture.

"Wow," I thought, "He sure put a lot of effort into this. Man, this is a really nice Valentine's gift! I wonder how he'll top it when he actually proposes."

We got to monthiversary #21, which was last month, and the bottom of the cation read, "Don't turn the page yet." Then the phone rang. He usually doesn't answer his land line, so I was a little surprised that he would answer it, but part of me in my head said, "See? Now you know it's just a normal Valentine's Day because there's no way he'd answer it if he was actually going to propose. It'd ruin the moment." He answered the phone, and it was his mom. He talked with her in Taiwanese, grinning a lot, and asked if he could call her back later.

Back to the book. Alex came back into the living room and sat down beside me. I assumed it was just a normal day and I asked him how his day was. His response was, "mmm... okay." He started looking around nervously and I think I noticed that he broke out into a sweat. For some reason, no warning bells/alarms sounded. Very quickly, he took my hands, smiled at me, and got down on one knee.

"Ummm... what's happening? What are you doing?" I thought.

"Maybe he's just being really nice and romantic."

"Wait, why is he telling me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? Didn't I tell him not to tell me that until we get engaged?"

Then, he told me I could turn the page, and it said this:













I felt so unprepared for that moment because I thought it was months away, so I really didn't know what to say. All I could do was smile and hug him. After about 5 minutes, Alex said, "So... did you want to give me an answer?" I said, "Yesyesyesyesyesyes!" and the rest is history... :P



Happy Valentine's Day!



:D