AoO Chapter 2: Whose Idols are in the Way?

It is a waste of time for parents to think about strategies for parenting teens without first examining ourselves (29).

If we are not following, obeying, and trusting Christ, how can we expect our teens to surrender to Christ? If our hearts are controlled by something other than God, then the parenting opportunities God provides will be seen as a constant stream of irritating hassles. Idols cause parents to respond the wrong way to teens. These idols cause bitter words, accusation and anger to replace love, acceptance, forgiveness, and a heart of service.

The author lists out some of the most common idols he sees parents worshiping.

• COMFORT. This is the idea that we secretly want life to be a resort- that we are entitled to peace, quiet, and respect.
  
• RESPECT. Some parents demand respect, no matter the cost.
  
• APPRECIATION. Parents may fall into the "I serve, you appreciate" trap and expect a certain level of appreciation.
• SUCCESS. It's easy to lose sight that children belong to God, not to us- they are not given to bring us glory, but Him.
• CONTROL. Successful parenting is the rightful God-ordained loss of control. Children start out needing complete control, but as they grow older, parents must bring them under God's control.
  

Alex's thoughts: I cannot agree more with the need for us to examine our own hearts. Parents may very well be the obstacle to their teenager's growth! I wish that Tripp would have at least mentioned some other idols prevalent in the US.

• MONEY "The Pharisees who were lovers of money, heard all these things, and they ridiculed him" (Lk. 16:14). Those who seemed to be the most devout and religious were in fact idolaters. Pharisees attend worship, pray, and serve, but were lovers of money and not lovers of God. If God did an audit right now of our finances right now, would He see that we served God or served money? We can only serve one or the other.
• PERSONAL SUCCESS/DESIRES In the parable of the sower (see Mark 4), we see that the word of God is preached and there are 3 bad responses and 1 good response (good soil). Only the good soil bears fruit and represents the one who is genuinely saved. The other 3 soils represent those who are spiritually lost. One of the bad responses is the seed falling among the thorns. The seed is choked out by the cares of this world and desires for other things

1 John 2:15 sums these up: "Do not love the world and the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him"

Questions for us to ponder:

• What idols are you/I prone to worship?
• Do we have a desire to get rid of these idols? What causes us to hold onto them?
• What are the most important things in our life? Do you/I love the world and the things in the world?
• How do our idols affect our parenting ability?
  
• Is our life bearing good fruit? If not, how do we need to repent?
• Let us take time to do what Paul tells the Corinthian church. He tells them to "examine yourself to see whether you are in the faith" (2 Cor 13:5)