AoO Chapter 3: What is a Family? A Definition

Families spend enormous amounts of time planning for vacations to make sure they have a good time. Imagine if we "sort-of" knew where we were going and didn't look at maps or think about the cost or destination.

But parents often go into raising children this way without asking "What did God intend the family to do?" Judges 2:6-15 paints a sad picture of what happens when parents drop the ball. After the conquests in Canaan, Joshua and the Israelite leaders served God. But then another generation arose that did not know the Lord or what He had done.

God designed the family as the primary learning community. God says, "You live with your children. You are there when they are lying down and getting up. Teach your children since the family is your classroom" (41)

Couple of main points:

• Children are worshipers. The question is: What do they worship? They either worship the Creator or created things (see Romans 1:18-32) There is no neutral territory here.
• Children are social beings. Children are made to be in relationship with people. From birth, a child has a moral responsibility to those around him and he is called to love others as he loves himself. Sin destroys this, and forces us to recognize how we are self-centered.
• Children are interpreters. Children take facts and draw conclusions. Sounds obvious, but true. Tripp shares the example of his daughter yelling from her bedroom "Someone stole my backpack". This is not a statement of fact but an interpretation of the facts. It seemed easier for her to assume that there was a thief in the home than to take responsibility. The author helped her understand this, and when they looked for the backpack, they found it under a pile of clothes.
• Children behave out of the heart. What comes out of a child indicates what's in his heart. "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.....the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:43-45).

Tripp closes with the "fruit stapling" analogy. Parents want their children to live right. Instead of looking at root problems of sin, selfishness, and no love for God or people, parents often want to fix outward behavior. Fixing behavior without changing the heart is like taking good fruit and stapling it to a bad tree. The problem is that the bad tree remains a bad tree. If the tree is bad, the solution is to fix the tree, not staple fruit.

Questions to ponder:

• How would you describe the mission and goals for your family?
  
• Do we view the family as God's classroom for transferring knowledge of Him?
• What are some ways parents try to "staple fruit"?