AoO Chapter 13: Small Steps to Big Change

It is never too late to change yourself and bring lasting change to your family. Mountains are not conquered in a single step. Relationships do not change overnight. Tripp provides more practical steps for parents:

• Stay calm - "Man's anger does not lead to the righteous life that God desires" (James 1:20)
• Keep conversation open (see Strategy 2 in chapter 12: "Three Strategies")
• Demonstrate how the Bible interprets, explains, and organizes life - God's Word rules and directs every part of our lives or it does not (see chapter 8: "Convictions and Wisdom" and 10: "Heart for God")
  
• Be willing to show your own struggle (Paul does this for us in 2 Cor. 1:3-11)
• Keep Christ and His work central - It is not enough to speak about Christ, we must demonstrate His life in our life (see 10: "Heart for God" and 11: "Leaving Home")
  
• You're a sinner. Don't act surprised at your teenager's struggle with sin (see 4: What is a Family?")
  
• Plan for temptation (see 5: "Parents Meet Your Teenager")
  
• Make accountability your teenager's responsibility - There are always places to hide. An army of people cannot successfully hold a person accountable who does not want the help
• Be a good listener and observer (see chapter 12)
• Don't give in to problem allergy (see 1: "Opportunity or Survival")
• Always keep heart in focus (see 3: "What is a Family: A Definition")
• Do your Biblical homework first
• Always speak lovingly and constructively - communication problems happen not simply because of a teen's character, but also because of our idolatry (see 2: "Whose Idols are in the Way?"
• Be willing to overlook minor offenses - not everything is equally important
• Always deal honestly with your own attitudes (see chapter2)
• Expect, welcome, and respect differences - The goal is for a child to be made into the image of Christ, not ourselves

Questions to ponder:

• Tripp presents a lot of advice all at once! If you could pick 2 to work on, which would they be? Why?
  
• Which piece of advice was something you wish you knew years ago? How can we make sure we don't get discouraged?
• What are pieces of advice you have already taken to heart? How can you encourage a fellow parent through what God has taught you?