AoO Chapter 4: What is a Family? A Job Description

The family is a learning community. But how do we make an ordinary moment a teaching moment? The answer is to operate the family the way God intended.

Family as Theological Community
Theology is the study of God, His existence, nature, and works (54). Everything in life is attached to either a right or wrong understanding of God. For example, in Deuteronomy 6:20-25, we see that obedience to God must be rooted in understanding who God is and what He has done. Are rules obeyed because we have to or they're the right thing to do? Moses reminds fathers to tell children that they are "children of redemption." God saved us from slavery (to sin), and we live for Him. Our lives are either rooted in the glory and goodness of God or they are not.

Parents must turn the eyes of youth away from what they desire to what God desires. Teenagers (and the rest of us) tend to forget the reality that God exists! When you ask most teenagers what they want out of life, most would tell you they want to be happy. What's scary is that their definition of happiness changes almost hourly and there is no higher focus than their own pleasure.

Family as Sociological Community
The family is the place where our true natures are shown- where our sinful desires are exposed. The family will teach and model what it means to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself or it will violate that standard. Powerful messages will be taught in the way mom and dad talk, serve, make decisions, and deal with differences.

Family as Redemptive Community
The family is the place where the reality of the gospel will be applied out or denied. When we humbly admit our sins and the need for the Savior, we are able to seek the treasures of God's grace. When God reveals sin in a Christian, there are 2 responses. One is to justify and excuse it (e.g. they deserved it). The other is to admit sin, confess it to God and man, and come under the justifying mercy of Christ. One key is that parents must be willing to admit their own faults. It's easy to be like the proud Pharisee in Luke 18 who says "I thank God I'm not like those other people"

All family members must realize we have no power to love God or people on our own and seek Christ for His mercy. "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness" (2 Pet. 1:3)

Questions to ponder:

• How is the solution for the problem described at the bottom of page 63 (sons fighting over the stereo) a "fruit-stapling" solution?
• What would you say to your son if he told you it was pointless to be a nice guy since nice guys finish last? (See Psalm 73)
  
• Which of the three types of communities do you find most challenging to implement?
• What changes need to be made so that your family serves the purposes God intended?