AoO Chapter 12: Three Strategies for Parenting Teens

Biblical goals are insufficient for Biblical parenting. Biblical strategies are required also. All of these insights and strategies apply to teenagers because they apply to people in general, especially ourselves!

STRATEGY 1: Project Parenting
We must ask ourselves questions like these: What should we be working on with this particular child at this particular time? How should we work on it? You must have an idea where the teenager has room to grow, where he is susceptible to temptation, where he is struggling, and where there is rebellion. Psalm 36:1-4 provides a model for project parenting.

What significant relationships must he deal with? Who are the voices of influence? What values are being promoted in his world? Where are the places of daily struggles?

Teens must develop wisdom to understand his own heart. This should eventually lead to detecting his own sin and learning to hate it.

STRATEGY 2: Constant Conversation
Hebrews 3:12-13 shows us how easy and how fast our hearts become hardened by sin. Without daily conversation and examination, sin will grow unchecked.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

The turning away refers to a turning away of the heart. The heart always turns before the eyes, mouth, ears, hands, and feet. When someone has rebelled against the Lord (e.g. stop worshiping and submitting to Christ), the heart left long before that. The constant communication is on-going treatment for our spiritual blindness. Again, this means asking good questions, pursuing the heart of the teenager, and bringing the gospel into their lives.

STRATEGY 3: Leading Your Teenager to Repentance
In 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Paul describes the ministry of reconciliation (being made right with God). Through the gospel, we are brought into a right relationship with God, and now we are God's ambassadors to bring that right relationship to our teenagers. Tripp lists 4 steps he uses:

1. Consideration - "What does God want my teenager to see about himself that he's not seeing? This involves a dialog about the situation, the heart response, the behavior response, the reasons behind the response, and the result.
2. Confession - Parents often make the mistake of confessing for their teens. Without addressing the spiritual blindness, the teen will not see the issue the way God sees it.
3. Commitment - A commitment to God and people to live, act, and respond in a new way. It must involve a turning of the heart and changed behavior
4. Change - True repentance leads to concrete changes in our lives

Alex's thoughts - This chapter and the next one are great summarizes of what Tripp has shared in the first 11 chapters. He starts bringing all the ideas together and shows how they can be applied.